hayride

dear blog,

last night i went to a haunted corn maze with the wellings, lola, matthias, tony, bob and his lover amy (who is nickie's age, which is weird, but she is really cool so i guess its okay), and it was SCARY. but to get there and back we had to take a hayride, which was scary on the way there and just delightful on the way back. but seriously, on the way back i felt like i was in an old musical and everyone on the hayride should break into song simultaneously, and believe you me i would have broken into song except for i really couldn't think of any hayride appropriate songs... until i got home. and i thought of this beauty, and truth be told it has been stuck in my head ever since.

and, let's be honest, who doesn't love some burl ives.

love,

rochelle

22

dear blog,

i turned 22 years old yesterday. i think normally on my birthday i either feel older or younger than the amount of years under my belt, but today i feel just about my age. here are 22 goals i have for my 22nd year:

1. read 10 books.
2. purge my belongings.
3. get a manicure.
4. go to the beach.
5. turn in my mission papers.
6. get a mission call.
7. go to a concert.
8. throw an awesome party (not including my birthday party this week).
9. be more selfless.
10. travel somewhere i have never been.
11. meet at least 22 new people.
12. reupholster something.
13. lose 50 lbs.
14. be nicer to my sisters.
15. go to a midnight premiere.
16. sew something excellent.
17. wear full-on make up everyday for one month.
18. be more gracious.
19. craft something once a month.
20. finish a rubix cube.
21. brush up on my piano skills.
22. cook a 3 course meal by myself.

love,
rochelle

all the single ladies

dear blog,

my bosom friend, harriet, got married yesterday.

it was an all-day event and needless to say it was fabulous. that's not to say it went off without a hitch, because i feel like SO MANY THINGS went wrong, but in the end the bride and groom were happy and i really had so much fun!

however, this post is directed to all my single friends/sisters. if you could please not get married for awhile, because i'm pretty sure i couldn't handle a day like yesterday again. at least for awhile anyways. is that too much to ask?

love,
rochelle

pining

dear blog,

i spent my childhood in sunny southern CA. it was a solid 75 degrees year round and the only time it gets cold-ish is the dead of winter during christmas time. sooo, when it starts raining and getting chillier my subconscious can't help but yearn for christmas. and i know it is nerdy, and i know it drives a bunch of people crazy, and i know its not even close to halloween yet, but i just can't help it! all day yesterday and today i have had the christmas music blasting and i absolutely love it.

love,
rochelle

thursday

dear blog,

in true thursday fashion today was a lovely day. i woke up and ate breakfast. i went babysitting and while baby hazel napped i watched a movie and also took a nap. i spent time with my sister. then we went to the farmers market. we got peaches and honey sticks. and i got to hang out with becca. and we went to diego's. they have the BEST gringa tacos i have had in the u.s. of a. then i got to see my friend sam lyman who i haven't seen in 2 years! and i saw my friend dan too. and it was lovely to see them. then i took becca home and i thought i should call jessica callahan (having two bffs named jessica is CONFUSING). anyways, i called her and while the phone was ringing i saw her walking down the street! how fortuitous! and then we went to jessicas apartment and i locked my keys in the car... and then we broke into my car. it was pretty hard core. and then we chatted with marie. and while i did nothing extraordinary today, it was still a lovely lovely day.

love,
rochelle

p.s. i have a TON of plans this weekend: babysitting jackson, wedding shower planning sesh, 46th ward reunion fiesta, levi's birthday celebration, marilyn's birthday party and babysitting davis and sarah during the big game! phew! and then next week i will be staying with my cousin's 5 kids all week! yikes! have a blessed weekend!

nickelodeon

dear blog,

ever since nickie moved out, the house has been noticably tidier. and i don't think it is because nickie is a slob and took her slobbish tendencies with her. im pretty sure it is just because there is one less person living in this house. it is so weird how just one person leaving changes the whole dynamic to a household. physically, our house is different, but emotionally and socially our family is different too. two sisters is so much less than three. and the thing is, i miss nickie so much, but i have probably seen her more since she has moved out than i did when we lived under the same roof! on saturday night maddie and carly and i went to see her at her apartment and she was busy playing games with her roommates and boys and she couldn't even be bothered to stop and spend time with us. and while i probably would have done EXACTLY the same, it still hurts my feelings that she doesn't miss me the same way i miss her. and then on sunday we had a family dinner at gma and gpas in springville and nickie came, but she left early and we went to get the car from her and she was obvioulsy upset about something and when i tried to comfort her/have her tell me about it, she threw the keys in my face and ran inside. i need to just get over it and let her be on her own, but i just don't want her to get hurt, or mess up, or sleep through a class, or flirt with the wrong boy, or get embarrassed, or make any of the mistakes that i have already made! i know that this is a ridiculous and unreasonable notion, and i've made a goal to not call her every time i am in provo (which is a lot,) but is it wrong if i still try to protect her a liiittle bit?

sigh, this is actually not at all what i intended to write when i started writing this post, but i guess this is what is on my mind.

love,
rochelle

p.s. despite her smothering problems (guilty,) health problems (nose bleeds!) and roommate problems (i want to know who DOESNT have roommate issues,) i really think she is loving it. look how HAPPY she looks!

scared.

dear blog,

so i graduated from college and that was great, but since then i've been doing pretty much nothing and i wasn't sure what has been holding me back. and as everything around me changes, i am left wondering, what is wrong with me? i don't think i'm depressed or anything, but i really do think a LOT about what i am supposed to be doing and how i'm supposed to go about doing that. i feel like i am in such a limbo right now and my life has no structure or consistency. there is nothing to spark change and i have little motivation to change anything. and the truth is, if i wanted to be doing something, i could be. i have always been blessed with success, but lately i have been so petrified by fear that i just have no desire to even try. and i know that nothing will ever happen (good or bad) if i don't at least make an attempt, but the idea of doing anything (moving away, getting a better paying job, taking the GRE,) is mortifying to me! when did this happen? when did i become so afraid of living life?

and the reason i haven't brought this up in the past is because i have justified all of my non-goings on. "i'm babysitting, and i want to be a mom when i grow up, so it's like an internship." "i don't pay rent, so i don't need money for a real job." "i like living at home with my family." "i am happy."  and while these are all partly true, for the most part they are just a mask. excuses for why i wouldn't have to buck up and live up to my potential.

but here's the thing, blog, i'm not scared anymore.
(okay, that's not true, i am terrified,) but i have made a decision that i am not going to hide anymore.
i have decided that i am going to (try to) move away. to the east coast. new york, actually. and be a live-in, full-time, honest-to-goodness, nanny.

cue shocked/excited faces.
thank you, thank you very much.

love,
rochelle