the whole time i was thinking "seriously? this is too good to be true!" ever since mid november i have been looking forward to the opportunity of a lifetime (for me). i have been planning to study abroad in guadalajara mexico. and this was not just any study abroad. this was PERFECT. the next level of spanish i needed. the right price. volunteering and side trips included. and it all seemed to just fall into place. i fell in love with the idea of this, and then yesterday, everything that i have been planning for and been looking forward to for the last 5 months = down the drain. why you ask? well... they cancelled the entire program due to the outbreak of the swine flu in mexico.
WHY?????
how is this even fair? everyone it seems gets their own perfect lives (granted, with minor slip ups). they get opportunities. they have cute boys that like them. they have stamps in their passport. their parents have a job.
i just feel so
heartbroken.
seriously. i have never felt quite this way before. i am so so so so so disappointed.
i even had my bags all packed.
yeah, i get my money back, but frankly, i don't even care right now.
whatever. story of my life.
now, i am in California without a return ticket, because i was going to go to mexico from here... but now im not. so... i don't have a job, a plan, or anything to do really. its horrible. i hate not knowing.
on the positive side, i went to california adventure today! and tomorrow i'm going to disneyland! and i'm at ellen's right now! and i get to see my family!
i keep trying really hard to focus on the positives, which really are awesome, but all i can think about is what im missing out on. (the above exclamation points are all a lie. )
and to add insult to injury... i'm pretty sure that i can't go TWO SECONDS without someone mentioning the FREAKING SWINE FLU.
my life sucks,
rochelle
p.s. blog, sorry that this post is such a downer... but that's just how i feel. when i found out yesterday, i cried the whole day, and i was so depressed that i took a five hour nap.
Life sucks sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI keep wondering why the heck I'm in Helaman Halls with all these injuries that I keep getting. And... my mom is here. And she's not enjoying her time seeing me. Story of my life. Well, I hope you get to come home soon. We can party it up together.
Oh Rochelle- I am so,so, so sorry! I've been thinking about you these past couple of days, hoping that everything would be ok. Alas, that drat swine flu has ruined all of your well layed plans. I have no words of comfort, because honestly I would be in the throws of despair right now as well if I were you. All I can say is that I have learned that truly when we are on the right path and making the right choices, that everything happens for a reason. Even when it seems sucky, even when we don't understand why, even when other people's hopes and dreams are coming true and we are left holding a bag of crap, even then, the Lord has a plan for us. But I am sorry, I truly am. I love you.
ReplyDeleterochelle.
ReplyDeletei am SO sad and sorry
i am sending loves in your direction right ...
NOW
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keep laughing through your tears. i think you taught me how to cry. that really is a good thing :)
tomorrow we have star trek. and i'm not gonna tell you to be happy. cause i get mad when people tell me that when i'm sad. so ya. but star trek is tomorrow. did i mention star trek is tomorrow? lets just drive to mexico... ya, lets...
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