the whole time i was thinking "seriously? this is too good to be true!" ever since mid november i have been looking forward to the opportunity of a lifetime (for me). i have been planning to study abroad in guadalajara mexico. and this was not just any study abroad. this was PERFECT. the next level of spanish i needed. the right price. volunteering and side trips included. and it all seemed to just fall into place. i fell in love with the idea of this, and then yesterday, everything that i have been planning for and been looking forward to for the last 5 months = down the drain. why you ask? well... they cancelled the entire program due to the outbreak of the swine flu in mexico.
how is this even fair? everyone it seems gets their own perfect lives (granted, with minor slip ups). they get opportunities. they have cute boys that like them. they have stamps in their passport. their parents have a job.
i just feel so
seriously. i have never felt quite this way before. i am so so so so so disappointed.
i even had my bags all packed.
yeah, i get my money back, but frankly, i don't even care right now.
whatever. story of my life.
now, i am in California without a return ticket, because i was going to go to mexico from here... but now im not. so... i don't have a job, a plan, or anything to do really. its horrible. i hate not knowing.
on the positive side, i went to california adventure today! and tomorrow i'm going to disneyland! and i'm at ellen's right now! and i get to see my family!
i keep trying really hard to focus on the positives, which really are awesome, but all i can think about is what im missing out on. (the above exclamation points are all a lie. )
and to add insult to injury... i'm pretty sure that i can't go TWO SECONDS without someone mentioning the FREAKING SWINE FLU.
my life sucks,
p.s. blog, sorry that this post is such a downer... but that's just how i feel. when i found out yesterday, i cried the whole day, and i was so depressed that i took a five hour nap.