Friday, February 25, 2011

happy weekend

dear blog,

we didn't have the internet for a few days and i realized how addicted i really am.
in other news, i'm going laser tagging tonight. two words: BRING IT ON.

watch this:

and this:

and your weekend will be made.


p.s. did i menton that i got to talk to richie on the phone this week? yay!
p.p.s. carl is staying with us this weekend. yay!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

sister sister

dear blog,

tonight my parents are in slc sleeping at aunt willi's because jo's funeral is tomorrow. so all of my sisters and i were home alone tonight. after carly got home from young women's and nickie emerged from her cave to have her hair curled, we all sat on the couch together and cuddled and laughed and giggled and argued and teased. i sat surrounded by my beloved sisters on either side of me and took a mental picture. i love my sisters so much. and even though they are a pain in the patooty sometimes (who isn't?), i love them more than anything. until recently i feel like my sisters were so much younger than i was, but now, i feel like we are all the same. best friends but on a completely different level. being around my sisters is the best. we are all so different! nickie is so smart and sassy. maddie is kind-hearted and athletic. carly is a straight-up diva. and i am me. 4 different girls, in 4 different shapes and sizes with different qualities, different friends, different interests. we talk all the time about how none of us would even talk to eachother if we weren't sisters. and even though these silly, wonderful girls are so different than me, these girlies are the people i am the most comfortable around. i can say or do anything and no matter what they still love me. plus, there is something comforting in talking with people that know everything about you and understand inherently who you are. my sisters know me. the real, unabridged, ridiculous me. tonight, watching prince of persia, curling nickie's hair, fixing maddie's phone, eating nachos and just being sisters was just a sweet, tender reminder of how blessed i am to have three beautiful, interesting, loving sisters.


p.s. pictures of my gorgeous sisters for your viewing pleasure:

can you see the resemblance?

 with grandma d in ghirardelli square.

my sisters are so pretty!

singing singing singing 

goofy goofy girlies

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

love & loss

dear blog,

today, on a day designated for cheerful loving lovers, i have been thinking a lot about loss.

my great aunt jo died on sunday morning. last night i spent the night at their condo so that aunt willi wouldn't be alone. i was there sunday evening and for a good part of today and it was almost eerie how lonely it was after everyone left and it was just willi and me there alone. i was quiet, unsure of how to comfort my lovely aunt who has just lost her best friend, companion and sister. it was weird to be in a space where hours earlier aunt jo lived and breathed and loved and called it home, and now she's gone.

i thought about friendships i've lost. specifically worthwhile ones that i failed to maintain and have dwindled into nothingness. i thought about all of the beautiful people that i might still be able to consider 'friend' if i wasn't so self-absorbed, stubborn, or shy.

i thought about the first boy i loved. (unrequitedly loved, that is.) and the hours i lost thinking about him, talking about him, and trying to get his attention.

i thought of memories i've lost because i've failed to write them down.

i thought of time that i've lost, wasted really being idle, or just doing stupid things.

and while thinking about all of this loss, i can't help but think of it in a positive light, or at least an appreciative one. (thanks for the upbeat spirit, cheerful lovers!) it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. i really do believe that. experiencing loss makes us that much more grateful for what we don't lose. and the experience itself helps us grow and mature and become better.


p.s. today was not even depressing. i was just very pensive.
p.p.s. i got a lovely rose and it smells heavenly. thanks lj!
p.p.p.s. i'm OBSESSED with the hunger games series. read it. i know you'll love it.
p.p.p.p.s. bonus points if you picked up on the "you've got mail" quote from the previous post script.
p.p.p.p.p.s. i went and picked out a frame and a mat for my diploma today! first i left my diploma at home. then i left it in the car. then i left it on the shelf in the bathroom stall in the wilk. how embarrassing!
p.p.p.p.p.p.s okay, i know this is getting ridiculous, buuuuut i miss my brother. (the post scripts are getting ridiculous, not the missing my brother). anyways.... happy valentine's day!

also, this song has been stuck in my head:

aaaaand this:

Monday, February 7, 2011

mental health day

dear blog,

caleb told me once that growing up every year his parents would give them 1 day a year where they could skip school and they could just stay home and their parents called it their "mental health day". well, sam (caleb's brother) thought that "mental health day" was a legitimate thing, and not something that only their parents did. so one year, sam took his mental health day, but his mom forgot to call in and excuse his absence so the next day sam shows up at school everyone was like "why were you absent, sam?" and sam said, "oh, it was just mental health day."

i really love that story because 1. sam is adorable and 2. isn't it so true? that we all need a mental health day every once in awhile?

well friends, i am claiming today as my Mental Health Day. yesterday i took the longest of naps and so as the night came and went i found myself still awake (i won't even tell you what time of day because its pretty embarrassing).

so today i just slept. and watched television. and cooked myself lunch and dinner. and... yep, that's it. and as pathetic as it is, that is really what i did for an entire day. i didn't go outside. i didn't change out of my pajamas. i didn't shower. i didn't do anything productive. (i did talk to ellen on the phone actually, which i think should count for something, but she called me).

and as i sit here, i am obviously well-rested and my mind is cleared and i am almost TVed out, all i can think about is how i could have accomplished so much today, but instead i did absolutely nothing productive. and how i have a bachelors degree from an accredited university and the only thing that got me out of bed today was chinese chicken and the bachelor.

BUT, instead of feeling sorry for my(semi-pathetic)self, i am claiming today as Mental Health Day and tomorrow i will get up to my alarm (maybe), change out of my pajamas (definitely), take a shower (probably),  and do (at least) one productive thing.

until then, i'm going to watch pushing daisies on jessica's netflix until i fall asleep.

here's to tomorrow,

things i learned today ish

dear blog,

i learned (or rather re-learned) a lot today/ this week and i just wanted to write it down:

1. when i need to cry and i hold it back, i get really mean. so lesson learned, never hold it in.
2. stake presidencies technically preside over the bishoprics of the stake.
3. my parents are smarter than i give them credit for (sometimes).
4. its important and effective to talk to children like they are adults. well, i guess not really adults, but like people. they are people, so its good to talk to them like people.
5. also, a well-given compliment can go a long way.
6. i am imperfect and that's what the atonement is for.
7. richie will be an awesome missionary and i don't need to WORRY about him (capital letters meaning i will definitely worry a little, but not a lot).
8. i just love couches.
9. when i tell myself to do things (not like a crazy person, just like "get out of bed" "you should do the dishes" "don't eat that") i always call myself rochey... it's pretty weird. nobody even calls me that except for maybe carmen and im not sure if i really like it. i'm not sure how to even spell it. but when i'm bossing myself around, i always call myself roachy? W.
10. i am more controlling than i think i am.
11. social skills, like other skills, deplete if you don't practice them. (yes, this is a painful thing to learn).

i feel like there were other things, but i can't remember... that's what i get for not writing it down.

happy monday!

much love,

Saturday, February 5, 2011

single motherhood.

dear blog,

okay, i'm not a mom, but lately i spend most of my time doing mommy-like things. i play with babies, i feed them, put them down for naps, put them to bed, i run errands, i do dishes, pick up toys, wipe up messes, etc. etc. i just babysit a lot, and doing meal time and bath time and bed time is REALLY a lot of work! i don't think i ever realized how taking care of children is so draining in most every way. i am young, but at the end of a long day of work i just can't find the energy to want to go out or do anything. anyways, the point is, i have been learning a lot, and i would like to devote a shout out to my wonderful parents. for 1. being (almost 10 years) older than me when they had kids and 2. being awesome at it. you know what, kudos to all parents! i respect anyone who sacrifices their life this way, their time, their social lives, their physical and emotional well being. and especially kudos to single parents. i've cared for children alone and with help and it is definitely so much more difficult by myself. i really canNOT imagine how difficult it would be to care for children all by myself. it is terrifying really, and the more i learn about what being a parent is like, the more and more respect i have for mothers and fathers.