Monday, October 26, 2009


dear blog,

so.... i am officially twenty years of age. my birthday was on friday. part of me is kind of weirded out that i have been alive for two entire DECADES. but, then another part of me already feels like i am way older than twenty anyways. it's not like there is anything i can do about it either way though. aging is part of life.

anyways, here are some highlites:

1. ingrid michaelson concert with jessica callahan last week (here are more details)
2. sweet birthday card and CD from kam and mar
3. peanutbutterchocolate goodness in staff meeting.
4. car accident.
5. funfetti cake and sweet yellow balloon from harriet
6. card, cake and flowers from becs
7. lunch at carrabba's with lauren and ho
8. sleepover and jessica casebolt, lanae and sarah. including...
9. pazooki YUM
10. hugs from random boys in king henry haha
11. sweet handheld fan
12. dinner with kelsi, martha, ali, kamry and boys at red robin
13. coconut cupcakes from mommy yummmy
14. yummy pasta dinner
15. candy board from carly
16. clothes and shoes from everyone
17. 100 notifications on facebook/phone calls/texts
18. cards in the mail from both grandparents and carl

overall i would say i'm pretty spoiled :)

anyways... my birthday really was happy.


p.s. i personally know 9 people with an october 23rd birthday... crazy huh?!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

sitting waiting wishing

Dear blog,

One time i went prom dress shopping with Kristie and Laura in high school and as we were waiting for the old worker lady to ring up the over-priced dress that Kristie was buying, i was talking about how
"i wish it was after graduation! actually... i wish i was already in california on my trip! actually... i wish i was already at BYU! blah blah blah"
and then the older lady turned to me and said

"don't do that young lady. don't go around wishing your life away because before you know it, you will have wished your whole life away and you will have nothing left."

at first i was just thinking "who does this lady think she is?"

but now, i am so grateful for the lesson that that sweet lady taught me that day.

i realized today that i am more than half way done with my time at school here. WHAT? that is SO crazy! it feels like only yesterday when i was wishing for what i have now, but now that i am here, i feel so scared.

i am 19 years old for heavens sake! how am i supposed to go out into the world and make my way for myself?
i am still so silly and stupid and naive.

but---- then again---- is anyone ever ready? is anyone ever REALLY mature?

i really don't think so.

i think that old lady in the dress shop probably still feels the same way. scared and immature and wishing in retrospect that she would have cherished her moments more instead of wishing for tomorrow.

i think that we are never really ready. we are never really mature.

sometimes, i think that grown-ups are just pretending to be all mature and whatever, and that everyone is a little bit silly and a little bit stupid and a little bit naive.

so... who care's if i'm nineteen? i sure don't. i wish... it was today. i'm ready for today, to cherish today, to learn from today, to use today to prepare for tomorrow...

bring it on world.