Tuesday, January 24, 2012

i hate...everyone?

dear blog,

yesterday i took nickie grocery shopping after playing with these little monsters:
and we were kind of in a hurry because i had to go pick up my mom from work and we had to wait for a suuuper long time in line and as we were leaving the parking lot cars kept getting in my way and being dumb and i was a little bit frustrated and i said, "i hate everyone in this parking lot." and nickie started laughing! she has observed (and sometimes thinks it is humorous) that when i'm angry i get angry at everyone. sometimes it is more of an "i hate everyone in this parking lot" than "that specific person is an idiot."

i have been thinking about that ever since she said that. what does that say about me?

part of me thinks this says that i say things like that because they are ridiculously outrageous and comedy usually alleviates frustration, or that i don't want to hurt anyone so i just direct my feelings of frustration globally so that no one feels specifically targeted or offended. but another part of me thinks that i just can't control my anger so it just grows and grows until i really am angry at everyone.

i guess this is not super important, and actually a little bit stupid, but it has just been on my mind.


Friday, January 20, 2012

robison hall

dear blog,

yesterday we went to pick nickie up from her dorm at heritage halls and as we were approaching the sneaky entrance to the parking lot i'm looking for the usual landmark, the huge brick building where i used to live, but lo and behold THIS is what i saw...

a big fat NOTHING. THERE WAS NOTHING THERE!! (okay, there IS a pile of rubble but still,) they knocked my precious building down. and while i think it is wonderful that they are rebuilding the heritage halls, a feel like while robison hall died yesterday, a little piece of me died with it. my freshman year of college was a big deal for me. high school was especially difficult and when i moved into robison i felt as if i was free to be whomever i wanted. nobody had any preconceived notion of what my personality was like, what my interests were or anything like that, and i reallllly loved it. those crazy days in robison were when i became comfortable with myself, with my personality. but, they knocked her down, and it makes me feel sad...and old.

but that's juts part of life i guess.

and now? you guessed it, an overshare of photos from that lovely care-free time i spent in robison hall.

dallin, michelle, robert, me, christina and ryan
alex and roy. such goobers!
dressing up with ashley
a halloween dance. dallin and i are peter priesthood and molly mormon haha!
80's dancing with steven, rachel, dallin, christina and erik
my 18th birthday
clifton was in my fhe group and i loved to make him embarrassed.
ward event at temple square
tina verbena at a football game... i think this is hilarious because i'm pretty sure we're both the opposite of football fans...
my roommate, jackie!
dan, caleb and alex
haha marty picking my nose...
eric, canyon and brooks
becca, alex's sister and carmen
will, alex, ian, roy, dan and caleb

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

twinkle twinkle

dear blog,

i wanted to post this video when i posted this post (i don't think i used the word "post" enough in that sentence) but the only way i can upload videos from my phone is onto facebook, and facebook has been weird on my computer.

did i mention that this little guy is potty training?
he's so grown up!!!


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

m.l.k. day

dear blog,

yesterday after church jessica casebolt and co. came and picked me up and we drove up to her parent's house in farmington. it was so much fun! we ate dinner with the whole family and we played phase 10 and quelf and watched dolphin tale and talked and played phase 10 again and ate a midnight snack and talked some more and ate breakfast and took the frontrunner and trax around slc and went to temple square and the church history museum and went to lunch at the pie by the u and watched part of batman forever. it was pretty low key, but it was also really fun. it's been a looong time since i've made new friends and i LOVE it. 

thank you, martin, for the civil rights movement, and for a lovely day off.

amanda and jessica
amy and me
kelly and lindsey
ladies ready to go out on the TOWN.
sooo excited to take the train.

temple square
LOVE this... and an 8 year old did it.
at the pie with cheryl
we definitely contributed to the graffiti

Sunday, January 15, 2012


dear blog,

so i've been a teacher in the primary at church for awhile now, and i absolutely LOVE it. i love children and i like teaching. and i definitely feel more at home with 4 year olds than with (most) 40 year olds. i also like that it's pretty low key, and i feel like a lot of my responsibility lies in getting the big picture across, and enforcing principles of reverence. basically, i love it.

then a couple of weeks ago i got called to be a den leader in the cub scouts (in addition to teaching)! WHAT? i know next to nothing about scouts, and to be honest it always seemed to be more of a hassle than anything. they put me in charge of the webelos. mostly in this calling, so far as i understand, my responsibilities include organizing, planning and running wednesday pack meetings, (it's called pack meeting right?) making sure all the boys get the required activity badges to advance to boy scouts when they turn eleven, and making sure they don't kill eachother or burn down the church or anything while they are in my care. basically, i feel overwhelmed by this calling and i have many criticisms of the program that i will be keeping to myself...

ALSO, i got a calling to volunteer in the LDS clothing distribution center in the BYU bookstore. this is the reason they let me go through the temple (the stake president told me it's super unusual for someone as young as me that isn't serving a full-time mission or getting married to go through the temple.) this calling is just like a retail job, but i don't get paid, and i only work 11 to 4 on saturdays. i did it today for the first time and i really liked it. i am super grateful for this because i have been wanting to receive my endowment for a long time, and this was the perfect opportunity. plus it is an awesome environment to spend time in.

so...yikes. the amount of responsibility in my life has tripled in the last month. which is awesome, but also overwhelming. not to mention i've been babysitting a ton, i made some new friends, i got a gym membership, and we only have one functioning car... but as crazy as this all has been, i had forgotten how truly satisfying it is to have a full schedule.


p.s. i get a new primary class tomorrow and i'm kind of bummed. look how awesome this guys are!!

Saturday, January 14, 2012


dear blog,

on tuesday i learned that my dear friends, (jackson & his parents) are moving to arizona in april, and i am so sad! i'm even crying as i write this because i know i'm going to miss them so so much. but i think the worst part is that after a couple of months jacks probably wont even remember me. it's breaking my heart that my best friend won't be around anymore. it probably sounds dumb, but jackson (and shawnne) really helped me make it through the last year. and i'm really not kidding when i call him my friend, because even though his mom pays me to hang out with him, if i didn't REALLY need the money, i would definitely do it for free. oh man, i'm really gonna miss this guy...

the many faces of jackson
one of my favorite pictures EVER. who can resist a sleeping baby? 

jackson and davis looking at the snow.
we enjoy playing ba-boop.
one time i sat like this and he copied me. 
who DOESN'T love airbud?
playing in the dirt

he calls this picture "jackson with the necklace!"
so hardcore!
he giggles and giggles everytime he looks at this picture. what a cheeseball!
love those brown eyes.
playing at the park with andrew boy.
i got him this basketball for christmas and he carried it around the whole time i was there.

ah, man. i love this kid SO MUCH! 
miss you already, bucko.


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

i love to see the temple

dear blog,

a week and a half ago on december 30, i went through the temple and received my endowment. the temple is really sacred and special, and its also new to me, so i don't feel like it's appropriate to write a lot about it on here. but i did want to document that this happened and this blog is definitely the most consistent journal that i have kept.(luckily jessica gave me a journal so i have somewhere else to write "personal" stuff in! haha) anyways my mom, dad, grandma and grandpa dowd, carl, my bishop and his wife, and my dear friend jessica all came to support me. i was really nervous before hand, but i actually really loved it and i can't wait to go back. i'm so grateful that i had the opportunity to go, and i can't wait for my sisters to go too!


p.s. if you have more questions about the temple go here!
p.p.s. i grew up singing this song and it's so weird that "someday" is here!