Sunday, December 4, 2011

MOST embarrassing moment

dear blog,

so, you know when someone asks you what your most embarrassing moment is? well, i have never really been able to think of one. it's not like i don't get embarrassed. i think it's more like i get embarrassed so often that i easily forget about so it's hard for me to categorize any one of these moments as the "most" embarrassing... until last friday night. i experienced one of those "most" embarrassing moments, and let me tell you it was NOT GOOD.

here's what happened:

i was going to babysit for the wrights at 4:45 on friday night. i wasn't feeling super great, but i thought i was just tired and hangry. my mom was like "don't you think you should cancel?" and i was like "no way, i'm totally fine." plus, janae had called me just a little while earlier to confirm. so my mom drops me off (because the blue car is still not working and she needed the car to take carly somewhere) and i start walking up the stairs to their front door. as i'm knocking on the door i'm thinking "okay, as long as i just relax, i will be okay." so i walk inside their front room and she was telling me the plan and all of a sudden it was like if i opened my mouth at all i was gonna hurl. so i awkwardly nodded to everything she was saying as i tried to think of a way i could escape the inevitable. well, there was no way. she walked into the other room for a second and i let it rip. i puked. vomited. ralphed. blew chunks. THREW UP. all over their front room.... it was mortifying. and then i had to call my mom to come back and pick me up. it was pretty bad. as in there was regurgitated costa vida salad all over the walls and the carpet and a lamp and a door and underneath the door and on my coat, my shoes, my bag, my sweater and my shirt. but my mommy cleaned it up and then we went home and i spent the next twelve hours puking my guts out. but in all seriousness, i have NEVER been so humiliated in my ENTIRE LIFE. they were actually really nice about it, but on the drive home i sobbed like i have never sobbed before (and if you know me, this is A LOT.)

so, there it is folks, my MOST embarrassing moment. and i sure hope that you never have to experience anything so humiliating.

abashedly yours,

p.s. a few things i've learned? 1. mom always knows best. 2. it's probably good to err on the side of caution and 3. i feel like sharing this story will make people uncomfortable ergo displacing some of my discomfort. thanks for the load off, friends!


  1. I'm sorry you were embarrassed! And I'm sorry you were so sick. I hope you're feeling better. If it's any consolation, I threw up all over the place in Wal-mart once, at the front of the store after we had checked out but before we had left. I was pretty mortified. Hey, but what can you do? Good thing your mom was there so you didn't feel like you needed to clean it up yourself.

  2. How did I miss this post? I am also sorry that you were embarrassed. You wanna hear my embarrassing story? I may have already told you. When I was in 7th grade, we were standing outside of home room and for SOME reason my friends and I decided to start doing the splits to show off or something. When it was my turn, I went down into a pretty good split, but my pants couldn't take it. They split wide open. Like, the whole hallway saw my underpants. I had to sit on a chair with a sweatshirt wrapped around me and wait for my mom to bring me new pants.

    Someone still mentioned it to me senior year as a memorable laugh. Nice.

    Then there was the time that I peed the bed the first few months Jeff and I were married.

    Then there was the time that I tripped walking as Jeff was approaching(when we first started dating) and I did a little curtsy and said, "ta da!" Yeah, I'm cool.

    Then there was the time that I went dancing with my friend and got TOTALLY sick. Lets just say the toilet AND the garbage can were both in use as a line formed outside the bathroom.

    The best one possibly? One Sunday, I was leaning forward to grab something off the floor in our aisle, somehow I lost my balance and I fell forward onto my head! Bum in the air and all. And even better than that? The missionaries were sitting behind us and saw the WHOLE thing. They could barely talk from laughing so hard as they said, "Are you ok Sis. Allen?"

    Need I go on? Have I made you feel better yet? I have more in case you need them.

    Love you! And I love your mom for cleaning it up. She's awesome.

  3. If your intention was to make me laugh and feel guilty/bad for you at the same time then it worked. I'm sorry I laughed but I'm going to blame it on the fact that you are such a good writer! Haha! (I hope you know I was laughing with you and not at you...) But seriously, I hope that you are feeling a little better. At least you have a good story to tell now!