dear blog,
in true thursday fashion today was a lovely day. i woke up and ate breakfast. i went babysitting and while baby hazel napped i watched a movie and also took a nap. i spent time with my sister. then we went to the farmers market. we got peaches and honey sticks. and i got to hang out with becca. and we went to diego's. they have the BEST gringa tacos i have had in the u.s. of a. then i got to see my friend sam lyman who i haven't seen in 2 years! and i saw my friend dan too. and it was lovely to see them. then i took becca home and i thought i should call jessica callahan (having two bffs named jessica is CONFUSING). anyways, i called her and while the phone was ringing i saw her walking down the street! how fortuitous! and then we went to jessicas apartment and i locked my keys in the car... and then we broke into my car. it was pretty hard core. and then we chatted with marie. and while i did nothing extraordinary today, it was still a lovely lovely day.
love,
rochelle
p.s. i have a TON of plans this weekend: babysitting jackson, wedding shower planning sesh, 46th ward reunion fiesta, levi's birthday celebration, marilyn's birthday party and babysitting davis and sarah during the big game! phew! and then next week i will be staying with my cousin's 5 kids all week! yikes! have a blessed weekend!
Friday, September 16, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
nickelodeon
dear blog,
ever since nickie moved out, the house has been noticably tidier. and i don't think it is because nickie is a slob and took her slobbish tendencies with her. im pretty sure it is just because there is one less person living in this house. it is so weird how just one person leaving changes the whole dynamic to a household. physically, our house is different, but emotionally and socially our family is different too. two sisters is so much less than three. and the thing is, i miss nickie so much, but i have probably seen her more since she has moved out than i did when we lived under the same roof! on saturday night maddie and carly and i went to see her at her apartment and she was busy playing games with her roommates and boys and she couldn't even be bothered to stop and spend time with us. and while i probably would have done EXACTLY the same, it still hurts my feelings that she doesn't miss me the same way i miss her. and then on sunday we had a family dinner at gma and gpas in springville and nickie came, but she left early and we went to get the car from her and she was obvioulsy upset about something and when i tried to comfort her/have her tell me about it, she threw the keys in my face and ran inside. i need to just get over it and let her be on her own, but i just don't want her to get hurt, or mess up, or sleep through a class, or flirt with the wrong boy, or get embarrassed, or make any of the mistakes that i have already made! i know that this is a ridiculous and unreasonable notion, and i've made a goal to not call her every time i am in provo (which is a lot,) but is it wrong if i still try to protect her a liiittle bit?
sigh, this is actually not at all what i intended to write when i started writing this post, but i guess this is what is on my mind.
love,
rochelle
p.s. despite her smothering problems (guilty,) health problems (nose bleeds!) and roommate problems (i want to know who DOESNT have roommate issues,) i really think she is loving it. look how HAPPY she looks!
ever since nickie moved out, the house has been noticably tidier. and i don't think it is because nickie is a slob and took her slobbish tendencies with her. im pretty sure it is just because there is one less person living in this house. it is so weird how just one person leaving changes the whole dynamic to a household. physically, our house is different, but emotionally and socially our family is different too. two sisters is so much less than three. and the thing is, i miss nickie so much, but i have probably seen her more since she has moved out than i did when we lived under the same roof! on saturday night maddie and carly and i went to see her at her apartment and she was busy playing games with her roommates and boys and she couldn't even be bothered to stop and spend time with us. and while i probably would have done EXACTLY the same, it still hurts my feelings that she doesn't miss me the same way i miss her. and then on sunday we had a family dinner at gma and gpas in springville and nickie came, but she left early and we went to get the car from her and she was obvioulsy upset about something and when i tried to comfort her/have her tell me about it, she threw the keys in my face and ran inside. i need to just get over it and let her be on her own, but i just don't want her to get hurt, or mess up, or sleep through a class, or flirt with the wrong boy, or get embarrassed, or make any of the mistakes that i have already made! i know that this is a ridiculous and unreasonable notion, and i've made a goal to not call her every time i am in provo (which is a lot,) but is it wrong if i still try to protect her a liiittle bit?
sigh, this is actually not at all what i intended to write when i started writing this post, but i guess this is what is on my mind.
love,
rochelle
p.s. despite her smothering problems (guilty,) health problems (nose bleeds!) and roommate problems (i want to know who DOESNT have roommate issues,) i really think she is loving it. look how HAPPY she looks!
Friday, September 2, 2011
scared.
dear blog,
so i graduated from college and that was great, but since then i've been doing pretty much nothing and i wasn't sure what has been holding me back. and as everything around me changes, i am left wondering, what is wrong with me? i don't think i'm depressed or anything, but i really do think a LOT about what i am supposed to be doing and how i'm supposed to go about doing that. i feel like i am in such a limbo right now and my life has no structure or consistency. there is nothing to spark change and i have little motivation to change anything. and the truth is, if i wanted to be doing something, i could be. i have always been blessed with success, but lately i have been so petrified by fear that i just have no desire to even try. and i know that nothing will ever happen (good or bad) if i don't at least make an attempt, but the idea of doing anything (moving away, getting a better paying job, taking the GRE,) is mortifying to me! when did this happen? when did i become so afraid of living life?
and the reason i haven't brought this up in the past is because i have justified all of my non-goings on. "i'm babysitting, and i want to be a mom when i grow up, so it's like an internship." "i don't pay rent, so i don't need money for a real job." "i like living at home with my family." "i am happy." and while these are all partly true, for the most part they are just a mask. excuses for why i wouldn't have to buck up and live up to my potential.
but here's the thing, blog, i'm not scared anymore.
(okay, that's not true, i am terrified,) but i have made a decision that i am not going to hide anymore.
i have decided that i am going to (try to) move away. to the east coast. new york, actually. and be a live-in, full-time, honest-to-goodness, nanny.
cue shocked/excited faces.
thank you, thank you very much.
love,
rochelle
so i graduated from college and that was great, but since then i've been doing pretty much nothing and i wasn't sure what has been holding me back. and as everything around me changes, i am left wondering, what is wrong with me? i don't think i'm depressed or anything, but i really do think a LOT about what i am supposed to be doing and how i'm supposed to go about doing that. i feel like i am in such a limbo right now and my life has no structure or consistency. there is nothing to spark change and i have little motivation to change anything. and the truth is, if i wanted to be doing something, i could be. i have always been blessed with success, but lately i have been so petrified by fear that i just have no desire to even try. and i know that nothing will ever happen (good or bad) if i don't at least make an attempt, but the idea of doing anything (moving away, getting a better paying job, taking the GRE,) is mortifying to me! when did this happen? when did i become so afraid of living life?
and the reason i haven't brought this up in the past is because i have justified all of my non-goings on. "i'm babysitting, and i want to be a mom when i grow up, so it's like an internship." "i don't pay rent, so i don't need money for a real job." "i like living at home with my family." "i am happy." and while these are all partly true, for the most part they are just a mask. excuses for why i wouldn't have to buck up and live up to my potential.
but here's the thing, blog, i'm not scared anymore.
(okay, that's not true, i am terrified,) but i have made a decision that i am not going to hide anymore.
i have decided that i am going to (try to) move away. to the east coast. new york, actually. and be a live-in, full-time, honest-to-goodness, nanny.
cue shocked/excited faces.
thank you, thank you very much.
love,
rochelle
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