Tuesday, November 16, 2010

potty mouth.

dear blog,

my life's been a little listless the last little while (get it? lacking in lists and listless?) so here's a list that will add a little bit of hilarity to your everyday and mine. (um, this is a teensy bit embarrassing, buuuuut i think that breaking social norms is HILARIOUS (that's not the embarrassing part,) and what BETTER place to do this than in a public bathroom?)

these are some of my favourite ideas of things to do when you're in the public restroom:
1. start singing at the top of your lungs. (any song will do, celine dion preferred)
2. write "more please?" on half a square of toilet paper and pass it under the stall.
3. ask the person in the stall next to you for dating advice.
4. talk on the phone really loudly about something completely inappropriate (like your period cycle or something as if its not weird that you are talking about this in a public place)
5. when most of the stalls are empty, knock on an occupied one and ask for them to hurry up.
6. you and a friend, sit on either side of an occupied stall and have a conversation.
7. knock on the stall next to you, say its an emergency and ask if you can borrow their phone.
8. write other notes on toilet paper and pass them under-- such as "i like your shoes" or "hi, my name is sam, can we be friends?" (i would caution against using your real name).
9. compliment their shoes or socks outloud.
10. put a chair outside of a stall and be sitting there waiting when the occupant comes out.

oh boy, i need to stop because i am laughing too too hard.

it's almost thanksgiving!


p.s. i am not at all brave enough to do any of these, but the idea of doing it makes me laugh just as much.

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